Eye on his Prize: "My Way" & Sexual Social Scripts

On September 23rd, the one-eyed wonder of "Trap Queen" fame, Fetty Wap, premiered a music video for his chart-topping follow-up, "My Way." The music video's greatest (and arguably, only) addition to the modern hip-hop music video's clichés might be the innovative practice of washing one's hands in Luc Belaire 'Rare' Rosé sparkling wine (an act which, in itself, may warrant considerable analysis). However, the lyrics of the song impart Fetty Wap's desire toward a woman and his qualifications as a mate, and in the process perform sexual social scripts identified by gender theory.

Scripting theory posits that there exist accepted "sexual scripts" that define sexuality and sexual situations, as well as the proper way to engage in relational and sexual encounters (Gagnon & Simon, 1973; Simon & Gagnon, 1986). Kim et al. then expand upon this theory to "encompass [sexuality's] social dimensions and relational contexts in which sexuality emerges (e.g within romantic relationships, dating or courtship)," and define what each of the scripts associated with sexuality's various dimensions might look like (Kim et al., 2007). 

The video enacts what Kim et al. term Masculine Courting Strategies (MCS). The majority of the video features Fetty Wap and friends demonstrating their ability to provide and protect for a prospective partner by showing off jewelry, cars and muscles. The video also depicts a number of women being attracted to this display of wealth and power, which would also fall into the MCS category.

The lyrics of the irrefutably catchy chorus and verses further perform MCS by hailing the prospective female with, "Baby won't you come my way?", presumably because Fetty Wap has something he wants to say, thus making the first move in their now-budding relationship. He also demonstrates his protective abilities by promising "all headshots if you think you could take my b*tch". This theme continues throughout the song with comparisons to his prospective mate's previous and current boyfriends, all of which position Fetty Wap as more wealthy, powerful, and thus, desirable.

Before getting too carried away relating his pursuit, Fetty Wap also wants to reassure the listener that he also performs another type of sexual script, Masculine Commitment (MC), captured in essence by the first verse's opening line "...I don't ever chase no hoes" (and expanded upon briefly). This line could also be interpreted as an interesting development not explicitly captured by Kim's definition of MCS: rather than initiating contact with women, Fetty Wap's status allows him to forego this stage of the courting process. This suggests that if a man's power, wealth and status is great enough, the script is flipped and he is able to instead be courted by women and play the role of gatekeeper.

The afore mentioned Masculine Commitment script is characterized by the male avoidance of all commitment or monogamy and avoiding becoming emotionally involved, a practice of Fetty Wap's which can be inferred from the sheer quantity of different women featured in the music video. 

Finally, Fetty Wap performs another facet of sexual scripting theory, Sex as Masculinity (SM), with a single yet powerful line towards the end of the first verse: "While he mad as f*ck [that] when they sex she scream for me, aye." This line emphasizes the importance of Fetty Wap's superior sexual performance by implicating his object's preference for having sex with him. This reinforces the aspect of the sexual social scripting theory which asserts that "sexuality is a defining component of masculinity" (Kim et al., 2007).

Fetty Wap positions himself as a desirable mate by enacting these various aspects of the sexual social script, in effect reinforcing the sexual double standard, accepted courtship strategies and prominent attitudes toward commitment. The attitudes and behaviors put forth by "My Way" and its accompanying music video may serve as a guide or reference for individuals when posed with unfamiliar or uncomfortable sexual situations, which is also without a doubt the scariest thing I've ever typed. 

References

1. Gagnon, J. H. & Simon, W. (1973). Sexual conduct: The social sources of human sexuality. Chicago, IL: Aldine.
2. Simon, W., & Gagnon, J. H. (1986). Sexual scripts: Permanence and change. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 15, 97-120.
3. Kim, J. L., Sorsoli, C. L., Collins, K., Zylbergold, B. A., Schooler, D., & Tolman, D. L. (2007). From sex to sexuality: Exposing the heterosexual script on primetime network television. Journal of Sex Research, 44(2), 145-157. 

virginity loss narratives in "40 Year Old Virgin"

40 Year Old Virgin is a comedy movie from 2005 starring Steve Carell. The plot revolves around Andy, played by Carell, who is a 40 year old man who has yet to have sex with anyone. The film illustrates the awkward situations a man could face when placed in sexual situations without any sexual knowledge. The film approaches these situations with a sense of humor, however virginity loss narratives introduced by Kelly in "Virginty loss narratives in "teen drama" television programs" are strewn throughout the film.
Much of the film's plot relies on comedic situations that arise from Andy's naivety toward sex. His friends in the film become aware of his status as a virgin and spend much of the film putting him in positions- oftentimes ridiculous situations (putting a transgender prostitue in his hotel room) just to get him to lose his virginity. This display's Kelly's (2009)  "urgency script" that considers losing ones virginity as a good thing and a tool to increase social rank. (Pg.482) According  to this script, a 40 Year Old male virgin would be a target for ridicule-and Andy is just that. The film portrays Andy as a nerd with a huge collection of action figures. Andy is also the perennial butt of the jokes told by his co-workers and the film situated him in the position of a social failure. For instance, he has no car and the film plays on his childlike knowledge of sex as a way to cast him as the fool in numerous sexual encounters. For example, in a class setting, Andy quite seriously asks "Is it true that if you don't use it you lose it?" He also liken the feel of a woman's breasts to "bags of sand" keying his co-workers onto his status as a virgin. Further, the film advances the urgency script through Andy's efforts to conceal the fact that he is a virgin, even to his love interest.
For as much time the film spends portraying Andy as the laughable old virgin, other narratives of virginity loss do rear their heads in the film. For example, Kelly's (2009) "management script" that emphasizes losing virginity as something to occur in the right circumstances is illustrated when Andy passes opportunities to lose his virginity to a variety of women to wait for the right time. (Pg.482) The film awards this decision as he eventually starts a relationship with the woman he chooses to have sex with. Kelly's (2009) "abstinence script" which considers virginity a gift and something to admire is also exemplified in the movie. (Pg. 482) For instance, the film includes Andy's love interest commending him for being a virgin calling it a "good thing" as she assures him that it is nothing to be ashamed of.
This film serves as a popular media piece that ilustrates the prevalence of virginity loss as a complex issues through its portrayal of all three of Kelly's virginity loss narratives.

Citations

Apatow, J. (Director). (2005). 40 Year Old Virgin [Motion picture]. United States of America: Universal Pictures.

Maura Kelly (2010) Virginity Loss Narratives in “Teen Drama” Television Programs, The Journal of Sex Research, 47:5, 479-489, DOI: 10.1080/00224490903132044 

Gender Norms in Gilmore Girls: Both Sides of the Coin

While Gilmore Girls often breaks gendered scripts in its 7 seasons (it focuses on two female leads, to start), it also reinforces a lot of heterosexual norms as well. In a pivotal moment in the series, Lorelai’s proposal to Luke, the show breaks heteronormative scripts by representing the woman as an active initiator – however, it also represents the expected script just a few scenes later.

The scene below features Lorelai, one of the show’s two main characters, and her boyfriend Luke. When the video starts, they’re discussing Rory, Lorelai’s daughter, who has recently dropped out of school:

By having Lorelai propose to Luke in this scene, Gilmore Girls obviously defies gender norms – Lorelai is active and initiates the proposal, which clearly defies the heterosexual code of feminine courtship that Kim et. al. (2007) describe by saying that “women use passive and alluring strategies to win men’s affection” (152). Much the opposite in this scene, Lorelai is active and acts as the initiator. Here, Luke is the passive character, which defies the masculine script that tends to frame men as assertive in pursuit. According to Kim et. al. (2007), primetime television shows frequently reinforce the heterosexual script with the “the MCS [male courtship strategies] code,” which shows men initiating relationships, like asking women out. Furthermore, Lorelai is clearly touched by Luke’s commitment and emotion for her and her daughter, which differs from the normal script of showing men as less committed than their female counterparts and “impressing [women] with their physical strength, intelligence, or wealth” (Kim et. al., 2007, 152).

However, Gilmore Girls doesn’t just completely abandon the heterosexual script. A few scenes later, Luke talks with two minor characters, Babette and Patty, who function as the show’s town gossips and are clearly uncomfortable  by the “modern” proposal. As soon as they hear about the engagement, they rush to congratulate Luke, greeting him by saying things like “You finally did it, you dumb son of a bitch! You finally got in there and closed the deal!” and “Took you long enough!”, both of which clearly insinuate that it’s Luke’s “job,” as a man, to propose (Palladino, 2005). Babette and Patty ask Luke, “How did it happen?” and “How’d you do it?” as if those questions are one and the same (Palladino, 2005). Luke is visibly uncomfortable and tries to sidestep the question before finally telling them Lorelai was the one to propose. This news is greeted with great discomfort. After a beat of confusion, Patty says “You went modern” and Babette actually tries to comfort him by saying “Well that’s still okay, sugar! The important thing is you’re getting married!” (Palladino, 2005). Their assumptions, Luke’s reluctance to tell them the truth, and their visible discomfort at how to react all show how unconventional the proposal was. The idea that they both feel the need to make him feel better about not proposing, instead of simply celebrating his engagement, shows a state of mind that’s very much in line with the heterosexual script.

Honestly, I'm not sure what to make of this treatment of gender norms. I respect that the show Gilmore Girls flips the heterosexual script in an iconic moment of the series, but it also represents just how much Lorelai’s proposal is out of the ordinary (and maybe not in a good way). The combination of scenes and opinions about gender norms within the episode could either expose the code or reinforce it; representation of code-breaking behavior is usually, I think, a good thing, but the social effects of such behavior portrayed in this episode are clearly pretty negative. Because the episode represents both sides of the expected script are, I think the effect depends more on the viewers' response than the creators' intent.

References:

Palladino, A.S. (Writer & Director). (2005, September 13). New and Improved Lorelai [Season 6, Ep. 1]. In A. Palladino & D. Palladino (Producers), Gilmore Girls. Burbank, CA: Warner Brothers Television.

Kim, J. L., Sorsoli, C. L., Collins, K., Zylbergold, B. A., Schooler, D., & Tolman, D. L. (2007). From sex to sexuality: Exposing the heterosexual script on primetime network television. Journal of Sex Research, 44(2), 145-157. doi: 10.1080/00224490701263660

Are We Always Following a Script?

Mike's Proposal to Phoebe

Media plays a role in creating a vision of how a proposal is “suppose” to play out. The proposal script is notorious for the guy getting down on one knee and asking his girlfriend to marry him as she answers yes through tears of happiness. A diamond ring typically follows the response. According to most media, these steps add up to equal and successful proposal. When Phoebe is proposed to in the series, Friends, her proposal does not go according to the expected script and one may wonder just how deeply this script is ingrained in our minds.

In the scene linked above, Phoebe sits at dinner as her on-again off-again boyfriend David tells her that he cannot live without her and wants to spend the rest of his life with her. As David pulls out the ring and begins the traditional proposal script, Mike, Phoebe’s recent ex-boyfriend, whom she split from because of difference of opinion on marriage, shows up behind David. Mike takes control of the scene and tells Phoebe that he has made a mistake and he can’t think of any reason for them to be apart. Mike then says, “Phoebe will you marry me?” and Phoebe starts to smile but untraditionally responds with “No.” The live audience laughs, as it is typical of Phoebe to act in a non-traditional manner in a situation. As referenced in Drury and Bukowski’s chapter on sexual development, women are not socialized to take the upper hand and control the situation. Women are oriented to be passive as men take the proactive role. Phoebe defies this idea by not responding with “yes” to Mike’s proposal. She doesn’t simply go along with his plan and instead indicates that to her the proposal isn’t everything. However, she makes it clear that she needs to know that the relationship is going somewhere, which is a characteristic that aligns with the stereotypical female character. Phoebe wants commitment. The code of commitment is spoken about in the Kim et al. reading that categorizes aspects of the heterosexual script. The reading says that women desire relationships. While Mike was not looking towards the future before, he realized that his fear of commitment, specifically marriage, was ruining his relationship with Phoebe. He comes to the realization that if he wants Phoebe he must change his school of thought and stop fearing this life long commitment. Here Phoebe once again negates traditional ways and shows that a woman can have the power in a relationship too.
It is important to note that Mike does not follow his steps in the script so was Phoebe supposed to have responded with “no?” At the time, Mike was not Phoebe’s boyfriend and as he sat on a chair and did not get down on his knee, there was no ring. Clearly Mike was not following protocol so why should Phoebe? This brings up the question of the audience’s response. Was the audience laughing because Phoebe unexpectedly said no and was not following the script or were they laughing because of Mike’s poor attempt at a “real” proposal? The way one thinks of this untraditional proposal scene is important to understanding one’s feelings about the traditional script and whether the script is a thing of the past or crucial to follow going forward. 

Looking at this other link where Mike Proposes to Phoebe, it is obvious that something has changed because this time Phoebe says “yes.” In fact, as Phoebe and Mike sit in the restaurant after Mike’s two failed proposal attempts where he tries to ask Phoebe to marry him in a way that is known as “cheesy,” Phoebe reassures Mike that she will say yes whenever and wherever he asks. While Mike is effortlessly trying to follow the script and ask Phoebe to be his bride, Phoebe keeps predicting what he will do because he is so closely following the script put forth by media. When the waiter brings them dessert, Phoebe says that she will still marry him even if he is the “lame guy in a cheesy movie that hides it in the cake.” Unfortunately for Mike, he was about to be that guy. Phoebe calling out the traditional proposal script is making a mockery of the script, which is ironic when Mike decides enough is enough and gets down on one knee as noted by the script. Phoebe tells him to wait as she takes off her jewelry to prepare for the moment and then says, “ready.” While Phoebe was almost mocking the script before, she is now playing along and wants that picture perfect moment. Mike then tells her that “there is no one else in the world that I would ask to marry me three times.” He slides the ring on her finger and suddenly they are back again following the script.  

            As much as people want a unique proposal and to be different, the proposal script is so deeply ingrained in our minds that maybe subconsciously no one can help but to follow the script in one way or another.

References-

Kim, J. et al. (2007). From Sex to Sexuality: Exposing the Heterosexual Script on Primetime Network Television. Journal of Sex Research, Vol. 44, 145-157.

Drury, K. M. & Bukowski, W. M. (2013). Sexual development. In D. Bromberg & W. T. O’Donohue (Eds.), Handbook of Child and Adolescent Sexuality (pp. 115-144). San Diego, CA: Academic Press.

The Hills

On May 27th, Abel Tesfaye (famously known as The Weeknd) released the 5th track of his highly anticpated album Beauty Behind the Madness.  Alongside his other great songs, The Hills has received much praise due to not only its apparent likability but also for its air of sexuality and risque lyrics.  The storyline of this song revolves around Abel and an affair he is having with a woman.  Throughout the song, he sets the record straight by revealing to her what she truly means to him (basically nothing) and that their affair is equally her fault.  As a popular music artist, what influence does The Weeknd have on his listeners regarding sexual intercourse, relationships, and gender roles?  Is this influence stronger for adolescents, which are his target audience?

After carefully listeningto the lyrics of The Hills, I noticed that many of the lyrics I heard directly apply to a multidtude of Kim et al.'s complementary codes regarding sexual scripts.  First, Abel sings in the first stanza,

I'm just tryna get you out the friend zone 
Cause you look even better than the photos
I can't find your house, send me the info
Drivin through the gates residential

Abel is undoubtedly exempliying the specific code of sex as masculinity through sexual objectification of women and male sexual initiative.  Based on the theory that men sexually objectify women and only value them because of their attractiveness, Abel is saying that he wants to take their affair to the next level solely based on the way she looks in pictures (Kim et al., pg. 147).  In the last two lines, he epitmozies the idea that "men are sexual initiators who are preoccupied by sex and who will go to great lengths to have intercourse" (Kim et al., pg. 147).  When adolescents hear these lyrics, they begin to familiarize and embed these sexual scripts and gender roles into their daily lives.

Next the chorus of the song illustrates the code of masculine committment, or their lack of.

I only call you when it's half past five
The only time that I'll be by your side
I only love it when you touch me, not feel me
When I'm fucked up, thats the real me

According to Kim et al., the basis of masculine commitemnt revolves around "men actively avoiding committment, marriage, monogamy... [and] trying to evage becoming emotionally inolved with their female partners" (pg. 148).  The fact that Abel is even having this affair demonstrates his belief in polygamy and, furthermore, his willingness to only call when its in the middle of the night signifies his "masculine" position in not wanting any sort of serious relationship with this girl.  Adolescents hearing these lyrics may internalize the idea that cheating on partners is acceptable and that relationships are common and better when little emotion is involved.

Lastly moving from the lyrics to the music video, the narrative is Abel getting in a car crash with two women.  He emerges from the wreck and starts walking away without helping the two women he was with.  After ignoring the shoves from the two women, he enters an abandoned mansion and walks into a room illuminated by a red light.  The red light, a man holding an apple, and the two women from the crash symbolize Abel entering hell for the way he treats women.  The music video is a very strong piece of media in that it first teaches the wrongdoings of heterosexual relationships (as detailed above), but then finishes with what can be seen as a postive message about the disgraces of polygamy, sexual objectification, and emotionless relatinships.  By showing Abel walking into hell, adolescents can take away that treating women the way he did only leads to negative consequences.  This music video postively correlates with Ward's theory that "sexually oriented genres such as soap operas and music videos [are] associated with greater acceptance of stereotypical and casual attitudes about sex..." (Ward, pg. 370).  Lets all hope that adolescents catch the ending postive message of the music video instead of the former negative ones.

Kim, J. L., Sorsoli, C. L., Collins, K., Zylbergold, B. A., Schooler, D., & Tolman, D. L. (2007). From sex to sexuality: Exposing the heterosexual script on primetime network television. Journal of Sex Research, 44(2), 145-157. doi: 10.1080/00224490701263660

Ward, L. M. (2003). Understanding the role of entertainment media in the sexual socialization of American youth: A review of empirical research. Developmental Review, 23(3), 347-388. doi: 10.1016/s0273-2297(03)00013-3

Sex like a Man is just OK in Gossip Girl

http://www.netflix.com/watch/70212582?trackId=14170151&tctx=1%252C0%252C36a411fd-3b9e-4847-8bcc-b3375de628cd-22024955

As the youngest child of three girls (of which are five and eight years older than me), I grew up understanding their infatuation with Sex and the City. Well, maybe I didn’t “understand” it, but I was used to it. While I didn’t particularly grasp all of lingo in the show, I enjoyed doing what my older sisters were doing and feeling like I knew exactly what was going on. When I entered high school, the popular series Gossip Girl was released and instantly became a hit among girls my age. I watched the series every Thursday night, but still did not fully understand the risqué concepts in the show. Now, after re-watching the show Netflix (binge-watching to be more specific), I fully understand the messages Gossip Girl directors are giving off to viewers, and how it has become the modern-day Sex and the City.

Though the four main characters in Sex and the City are promiscuous and typically pursue sexual encounters as recreational, Gossip Girl reveals that there is much more to sex than “having sex like a man.” According to Gail Markle in “Can Women Have Sex Like A Man?: Sexual Scripts in Sex and the City,” “sex like a man” is characterized as “without feeling, for pleasure only, and with no commitment” (Markle, 2008). Chuck Bass, a promiscuous socialite, is a regular in strip clubs, drinks excessively, and sleeps with multiple women (including prostitutes). Many times, his unstable life at home leads him to act this way. In Season 1 Episode 7, Chuck sits in a strip club with his father as if it is a regular activity.

Later that night, he runs into Blair Waldorf, and the two later have sex in the back of his limo. Even though Chuck has sex with multiple partners and is never ridiculed for his promiscuity, viewers can tell how strong of feelings the two have for each other and how meaningful their sexual encounter is. Through this scene, viewers understand the difference between Chuck having “sex like a man” when he is trying to escape his problems, and having sex with Blair, whom he has formed strong feelings for. Gossip Girl does not treat Chuck with contempt for “having sex like a man,” but it does show how he seems to be more content when having intercourse with someone special.  

On the other hand, Serena van der Woodsen can be characterized as the most promiscuous female character in the show. She is a tall, carefree, gorgeous blonde, yet she struggles with the way men treat her and her reputation has suffered as a result. In Season 1 Episode 7, Serena has sex with her new boyfriend, Dan Humphry. After, she expresses fear and states, “nobody has ever looked at me the way you just did. In fact, I don’t think they looked at me at all.” From this conversation, and the emotions Serena expresses, viewers understand that her past sexual relationships have not been relational and that she has never experienced that of a relational sexual relationship. Though she has had “sex like a man” in the past, it is clear she slightly regrets these decisions and does not feel positive emotions after. Serena is known in her community for her wild ways, and this is the first time viewers see Serena have a relationship with someone she cares about. In this episode, Dan shows Serena the true meaning of sex, different to what she is used to.  

According to Markle, “second wave feminism established and validated women’s desire for sexual pleasure beyond the confines of a monogamous heterosexual relationship” (Markle, 2008). Though female characters in Gossip Girl do have sex with partners who are not their significant others, the show creates extremely emotional scenes between characters who have strong feelings for each other. Thus, it adds more importance unto having sex while in a monogamous relationship. While I do not feel that the show sends overall good messages about sex to viewers (they rarely ever talk about safe sex), Chuck and Serena’s sexual encounters in this episode are two examples of the positive emotions that will come after having sex with a significant other. All in all, the Gossip Girl directors tell viewers that “sex like a man” is socially acceptable (more so for men than women), but sex while in a monogamous relationship is even better.

Markle, G. (2008). “Can women have sex like a man?”: Sexual scripts in Sex and the City. Sexuality & Culture, 12(1), 45-57.