Gender Norms in Gilmore Girls: Both Sides of the Coin

While Gilmore Girls often breaks gendered scripts in its 7 seasons (it focuses on two female leads, to start), it also reinforces a lot of heterosexual norms as well. In a pivotal moment in the series, Lorelai’s proposal to Luke, the show breaks heteronormative scripts by representing the woman as an active initiator – however, it also represents the expected script just a few scenes later.

The scene below features Lorelai, one of the show’s two main characters, and her boyfriend Luke. When the video starts, they’re discussing Rory, Lorelai’s daughter, who has recently dropped out of school:

By having Lorelai propose to Luke in this scene, Gilmore Girls obviously defies gender norms – Lorelai is active and initiates the proposal, which clearly defies the heterosexual code of feminine courtship that Kim et. al. (2007) describe by saying that “women use passive and alluring strategies to win men’s affection” (152). Much the opposite in this scene, Lorelai is active and acts as the initiator. Here, Luke is the passive character, which defies the masculine script that tends to frame men as assertive in pursuit. According to Kim et. al. (2007), primetime television shows frequently reinforce the heterosexual script with the “the MCS [male courtship strategies] code,” which shows men initiating relationships, like asking women out. Furthermore, Lorelai is clearly touched by Luke’s commitment and emotion for her and her daughter, which differs from the normal script of showing men as less committed than their female counterparts and “impressing [women] with their physical strength, intelligence, or wealth” (Kim et. al., 2007, 152).

However, Gilmore Girls doesn’t just completely abandon the heterosexual script. A few scenes later, Luke talks with two minor characters, Babette and Patty, who function as the show’s town gossips and are clearly uncomfortable  by the “modern” proposal. As soon as they hear about the engagement, they rush to congratulate Luke, greeting him by saying things like “You finally did it, you dumb son of a bitch! You finally got in there and closed the deal!” and “Took you long enough!”, both of which clearly insinuate that it’s Luke’s “job,” as a man, to propose (Palladino, 2005). Babette and Patty ask Luke, “How did it happen?” and “How’d you do it?” as if those questions are one and the same (Palladino, 2005). Luke is visibly uncomfortable and tries to sidestep the question before finally telling them Lorelai was the one to propose. This news is greeted with great discomfort. After a beat of confusion, Patty says “You went modern” and Babette actually tries to comfort him by saying “Well that’s still okay, sugar! The important thing is you’re getting married!” (Palladino, 2005). Their assumptions, Luke’s reluctance to tell them the truth, and their visible discomfort at how to react all show how unconventional the proposal was. The idea that they both feel the need to make him feel better about not proposing, instead of simply celebrating his engagement, shows a state of mind that’s very much in line with the heterosexual script.

Honestly, I'm not sure what to make of this treatment of gender norms. I respect that the show Gilmore Girls flips the heterosexual script in an iconic moment of the series, but it also represents just how much Lorelai’s proposal is out of the ordinary (and maybe not in a good way). The combination of scenes and opinions about gender norms within the episode could either expose the code or reinforce it; representation of code-breaking behavior is usually, I think, a good thing, but the social effects of such behavior portrayed in this episode are clearly pretty negative. Because the episode represents both sides of the expected script are, I think the effect depends more on the viewers' response than the creators' intent.

References:

Palladino, A.S. (Writer & Director). (2005, September 13). New and Improved Lorelai [Season 6, Ep. 1]. In A. Palladino & D. Palladino (Producers), Gilmore Girls. Burbank, CA: Warner Brothers Television.

Kim, J. L., Sorsoli, C. L., Collins, K., Zylbergold, B. A., Schooler, D., & Tolman, D. L. (2007). From sex to sexuality: Exposing the heterosexual script on primetime network television. Journal of Sex Research, 44(2), 145-157. doi: 10.1080/00224490701263660