Sex like a Man is just OK in Gossip Girl

http://www.netflix.com/watch/70212582?trackId=14170151&tctx=1%252C0%252C36a411fd-3b9e-4847-8bcc-b3375de628cd-22024955

As the youngest child of three girls (of which are five and eight years older than me), I grew up understanding their infatuation with Sex and the City. Well, maybe I didn’t “understand” it, but I was used to it. While I didn’t particularly grasp all of lingo in the show, I enjoyed doing what my older sisters were doing and feeling like I knew exactly what was going on. When I entered high school, the popular series Gossip Girl was released and instantly became a hit among girls my age. I watched the series every Thursday night, but still did not fully understand the risqué concepts in the show. Now, after re-watching the show Netflix (binge-watching to be more specific), I fully understand the messages Gossip Girl directors are giving off to viewers, and how it has become the modern-day Sex and the City.

Though the four main characters in Sex and the City are promiscuous and typically pursue sexual encounters as recreational, Gossip Girl reveals that there is much more to sex than “having sex like a man.” According to Gail Markle in “Can Women Have Sex Like A Man?: Sexual Scripts in Sex and the City,” “sex like a man” is characterized as “without feeling, for pleasure only, and with no commitment” (Markle, 2008). Chuck Bass, a promiscuous socialite, is a regular in strip clubs, drinks excessively, and sleeps with multiple women (including prostitutes). Many times, his unstable life at home leads him to act this way. In Season 1 Episode 7, Chuck sits in a strip club with his father as if it is a regular activity.

Later that night, he runs into Blair Waldorf, and the two later have sex in the back of his limo. Even though Chuck has sex with multiple partners and is never ridiculed for his promiscuity, viewers can tell how strong of feelings the two have for each other and how meaningful their sexual encounter is. Through this scene, viewers understand the difference between Chuck having “sex like a man” when he is trying to escape his problems, and having sex with Blair, whom he has formed strong feelings for. Gossip Girl does not treat Chuck with contempt for “having sex like a man,” but it does show how he seems to be more content when having intercourse with someone special.  

On the other hand, Serena van der Woodsen can be characterized as the most promiscuous female character in the show. She is a tall, carefree, gorgeous blonde, yet she struggles with the way men treat her and her reputation has suffered as a result. In Season 1 Episode 7, Serena has sex with her new boyfriend, Dan Humphry. After, she expresses fear and states, “nobody has ever looked at me the way you just did. In fact, I don’t think they looked at me at all.” From this conversation, and the emotions Serena expresses, viewers understand that her past sexual relationships have not been relational and that she has never experienced that of a relational sexual relationship. Though she has had “sex like a man” in the past, it is clear she slightly regrets these decisions and does not feel positive emotions after. Serena is known in her community for her wild ways, and this is the first time viewers see Serena have a relationship with someone she cares about. In this episode, Dan shows Serena the true meaning of sex, different to what she is used to.  

According to Markle, “second wave feminism established and validated women’s desire for sexual pleasure beyond the confines of a monogamous heterosexual relationship” (Markle, 2008). Though female characters in Gossip Girl do have sex with partners who are not their significant others, the show creates extremely emotional scenes between characters who have strong feelings for each other. Thus, it adds more importance unto having sex while in a monogamous relationship. While I do not feel that the show sends overall good messages about sex to viewers (they rarely ever talk about safe sex), Chuck and Serena’s sexual encounters in this episode are two examples of the positive emotions that will come after having sex with a significant other. All in all, the Gossip Girl directors tell viewers that “sex like a man” is socially acceptable (more so for men than women), but sex while in a monogamous relationship is even better.

Markle, G. (2008). “Can women have sex like a man?”: Sexual scripts in Sex and the City. Sexuality & Culture, 12(1), 45-57.