Samantha and Maria's Gendered Relationship

Sex and the City is and always has been a show that is known for its candidness and inclusive nature when it comes to sex.  So, it is no surprise that lesbian and gay situations and characters occur throughout its six seasons.  One of the most notable lesbian “relationships” was Samantha and Maria’s three-episode stint.  Throughout the show, Samantha is portrayed as a carefree, sexual woman who is definitely NOT looking for a relationship.  She embodies independence and sexual confidence, and as a personal fan of the show, I have definitely look up to certain aspects of her character.  Given Samantha’s personality, it came as quite a shock when she committed herself to not only a relationship, but to a woman (as she is constantly talking about how much she loves men and sex with them). 

Initially Samantha is only interested in being friends with Maria, as she really is not a relationship person.  But, when Maria tells her she is not interested in being friends anymore, Samantha decides to go for it.  She quickly becomes intrigued about learning about the female body and her own sexuality.  But, as time progresses we see another side of Maria – the typical “woman” in her comes out. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6blnhIWi58

(Skip to 1:20)

Holz describes in her study that “Throughout history, television has either ignored homosexuality or has portrayed it in a highly stereotypical manner” (Holz, 2009).  In many ways, this episode of Sex and the City fits the mold that Holz describes.  Holz discusses how lesbian women are generally either portrayed as the “butch” stereotype or the “femme.”  In this sense, Samantha and Maria’s relationship does not show stereotypical portrayals of lesbian relationships.  Instead, Samantha takes on the traditional role of the man – remaining unemotional and focused on sex.  Throughout the entirety of their (very short) relationship, Samantha complains about Maria’s desire to do nothing but “lie around, take baths together, and talk about feelings.” 

In many ways this relationship reinforces the stereotypes associated with lesbian relationships.  But it does so in a different way than Holz describes in her study.  Rather than focusing on appearance or “dude”-like qualities of the women (as both are generally pretty “femme”), the two characters are stereotypical in more traditional “heterosexual relationship” sense.  Samantha desires sex and connection in a sexual manner, going out and being social with her friends (i.e., independence), and not talking about her feelings.  On the other hand, Maria embodies some very traditional female stereotypes of women including being very emotional, needy, wanting to talk about feelings, irrational, and viewing sex as a way to build an emotional connection.  These women ultimately do take on gendered roles in their relationship even though they are both feminine women.