Dear Future Husband

Simply put, Meghan Trainor’s song Dear Future Husband is over three minutes of Trainor laying down all of the rules that her future husband must follow in order to have her emotionally and physically. She begins with the line “take me on a date” and finishes that thought with “don’t forget the flowers every anniversary cause if you treat me right, I’ll be the perfect wife, buying groceries.” It seems like she is seeking a very traditional marriage at this point. From the way she jumps from a first date to anniversaries, she is clearly seeking commitment, the stereotypical desire of a girl. This falls in line with her longing for the traditional path. Followed is the following stanza, “You’ve got the 9-5, but baby so do I, so don’t be thinking I’ll be home baking apple pies.” After just those few lines she is giving off a confusing message of the role she wants to play in her husbands life. While on one hand she wants to follow the heterosexual dating script that is explained in the Kim reading, she explicitly states that she will be the perfect wife but not the traditionally domestic housewife. Trainor is calling for a change to equate women with men in the work force. Her message is that women are just as capable as men but still want to be treated, as it is commonly described, like a princess. Basically, she wants the big diamond ring but she also wants to wear the pants in the relationship.

What is most interesting in this song is that while she is setting the tone of the relationship and is making it clear that she will not be her future husbands house slave, she is wearing provocative clothing in every scene.  In the second half of the song she says, “after every fight, just apologize, and maybe then I’ll try and let you rock my body.” While a lot of lyrics indicate that she is a strong independent woman and wants someone equal to her, she also gives the message that he is treating her as if she is equal to have sex with her. Trainor also changes her tune when she says, “you’ve got to know how to treat me like a lady even when I’m acting crazy, tell me everything’s all right.” That sentence shows that she does not entirely want to be treated like an equal because she expects her husband to be rational while she can act without thinking. She paints the picture of a ditzy bride when she is simultaneously telling him that she is not his toy even in those outfits. Her expectations of her future husband are unclear.

The question comes down to whether or not she is mocking girls who are marrying to have someone to baby them or she truly believes that she should be treated like an equal at work and princess at home. Her message to listeners is not black or white. Her expectations are confusing and yet, I listen to this song time after time and think the idea of picture/movie perfect dates should continue but there should be equality at work. Trainor’s point of view is complicated and unorthodox but still appealing.

Kim, J. et al. (2007). From Sex to Sexuality: Exposing the Heterosexual Script on Primetime Network Television. Journal of Sex Research, Vol. 44, 145-157.

Lippman, J. R., Ward, L. M., & Seabrook, R. C. (2014). Isn’t it romantic? Differential associations between romantic screen media genres and romantic beliefs. Psychology of Popular Media Culture, 3(3), 128-140. doi: 10.1037/ppm0000034