Lesbian Relationships within Friends

Friends (1994-2004) tackles many interesting and difficult topics throughout its ten seasons. One of the most interesting topics is lesbianism – and even more interesting is how the television show approaches lesbian relationship and interactions.

I will draw from two separate lesbian encounters through this post. The first is the most consistent lesbian relationship in the show – Carol and Susan. Carol is Ross’s (one of the main six characters) ex wife who left him because she was a lesbian and had fallen in love with Susan. Carol and Susan are in a committed, long-term relationship. The second lesbian encounter on the show that I draw from only occurs in one episode. During this episode, Rachel tries to convince Phoebe that she made out with one of her sorority sisters during college.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RELUKTye-1A

Holz Ivory discusses that real life lesbian relationships “are more likely than heterosexual couples to negotiate a balance involving fair distribution of household labor” and thus have less rigid sex roles than common stereotypes would suggest (Holz Ivory, et al., 2009, pg. 172). She finds, however, that the sex role stereotypes are being upheld in entertainment media and that “lesbians are portrayed as either butch or femme” (Holz Ivory, et al., 2009, pg.175). Friends starkly contrasts the common entertainment media lesbian relationship stereotype by portraying Carol and Susan as equal partners with no outstanding gender roles. They are merely two women – neither butch nor femme – in a relationship. Friends was far ahead of its time in depicting this lesbian relationship so realistically.

In the second instance of a lesbian encounter, Friends maintains its realistic portrayal of lesbian relationships. Rachel and her sorority sister are both feminine and thus do not adhere to the media stereotype that one partner must be the “man” and the other the “woman.” While this isn’t a consistent lesbian relationship, it adds to the overall bank of lesbian portrayals in the media and helps combat the stereotypical nature of homosexual relationships.

As Holz Ivory (2009) discusses, this more realistic depiction of lesbian relationships helps to create a more inclusive idea of homosexuality. Gay men or lesbian women watching this media can hopefully find a broad range of depictions to draw their own identities from rather than only seeing that they and their partners should fit in to the gendered stereotype.

On the flip side, one could argue that Friends only shows one type of lesbian relationship and doesn't tackle any butch lesbian topics. I think that while this argument is very valid, it's important to create a more inclusive entertainment media and portraying a type of lesbian relationship that strays from the normal entertainment media portrayals is helping the cause, nonetheless.

Holz, A., & Gibson, R. (2005). Gendered relationships on television: Comparing portrayals of heterosexual and same-sex couples.