Friends with Benefits...and Complications

Friends with Benefits tells the story of two strangers, turned friends, turned “booty calls,” and finally lovers…?  The film begins with an executive recruiter for a job agency in New York City, Jamie, trying to recruit Dylan (an art director from LA) for a job.  Dylan comes to New York for an interview and Jamie decides to take him out for the night to show him what NYC is all about, and convince him to take the job he was just offered.  Quickly, Jamie and Dylan become good friends.  One night, while drinking, they agree to be each other’s “friends with benefits,” saying it would “take the weirdness” out of sex.    

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_CVAI_twO0   (watch after clip above) 

After playing this game for a while, Jamie and Dylan only grow closer.  They even help each other find potential significant others.  At one point during the movie, Jamie and Dylan take a break from having sex together (but they remain friends) because Jamie “wants something more” and begins seeing another man.  This is a clear example of what Markle discusses in her article about Sex and the City.  Similar to the women in Sex and the City, Jamie is willing to abandon her “desires to ‘have sex like a man’ in favor of committed relationships – ‘happily ever after’ endings” (Markle, 56).     

When her relationship with the new man inevitably ends, Dylan comes to her rescue, inviting her to California to visit his family with him.  As predicted, while here, the two seem to only develop deeper emotional connections with each other.  It’s safe to say that this is the point where the two move from “just friends” to something more.   

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-bcBODMDww  

But, the next morning Jamie overhears Dylan saying that he “has no real feelings for her.”  She is upset, and what follows is a number of arguments and some time spent away from each other.  The movie ends with Dylan confronting his feelings for Jamie, and deciding to go for it and win her over. 

In her study, Lippman finds that “exposure to RTST movies was positively associated with endorsement of the belief that Love Finds a Way” (Lippman, 136).  Friends with Benefits illustrates a great example of how this plays out.  Throughout the movie, we are rooting for these two to get together (for real), and in the end, they do.  Given everything that these two go through (going from strangers to friends, friends with benefits, friends without benefits, arguments, emotional connections, other significant others, etc.), their love still finds a way in the end, and they end up together. 

Another big thing that this film does is challenge traditional female and male stereotypes.  This movie portrays the idea that women can want and enjoy casual sex too.  Similar to Sex and the City, this movie shows a leading woman “attempting to transgress gendered sexual roles in her quest to experience ‘sex like a man’, which they characterize as without feeling, for pleasure only, and with no commitment” (Markle, 46).  But, what’s funny is that while Jamie wants this, it is only for a short amount of time.  The minute that someone else comes along who she can see herself in a more committed relationship with, she jumps at the opportunity.  Dylan, on the other hand, doesn’t do this.  It is also Jamie who seems to be more vocal and accepting of her feelings towards Dylan first.  For him, it takes a bit more time to come to terms with his feelings for her.  So I wonder, does this movie really challenge traditional female and male stereotypes, and provide a new perspective?  I say yes and no.  What we see is actually the feminine stereotypes being reaffirmed.  Ultimately, women want relationships, no matter what they say/do is the message that the movie gives.  But, the movie also shows that men don’t always want something casual (as Dylan falls for Jamie at the end and wants something more too).  And finally, we understand that while “friends with benefits” can be fun for a little bit, it leads to a greater number of complications.    

Citations:

1. Markle, G. (2008). “Can women have sex like a man?”: Sexual scripts in "Sex and the City". Sexuality & Culture, 12(1), 45-57. doi: 10.1007/s12119-007-9019-1 

2. Lippman, J. R., Ward, L. M., & Seabrook, R. C. (2014). Isn’t it romantic? Differential associations between romantic screen media genres and romantic beliefs. Psychology of Popular Media Culture, 3(3), 128-140. doi: 10.1037/ppm0000034

3. Merryman, K. (Director). (2011). Friends with Benefits [Motion picture on DVD]. United States: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment.